Tuesday, July 31, 2012

Does Being Fat Make you a Bad Person?

***I apologize in advance for rambling on (and on and on) in this post. I've been thinking about what to write for a few days now, and I can't seem to put my thoughts into a cohesive essay.***

This weekend I was subject to some written abuse by a member of my husband's family. It was unprovoked and shocking. Apparently, this person hasn't liked me for a long time and all it took was a meme I posted on my Facebook page to set her off. It seems that most of her animosity for me comes from the fact that I'm fat. Her attack was peppered with the word- "FAT." Sure, she had some other things to say, but none bothered me more than this because I can't deny it.

I'm no stranger to ridicule stemming from my appearance. I was never skinny, even as a child, and people can be cruel. The names have run the gamut from "Shamu" to "Fat Ass" to "Wide Load." Most of the time the taunts came from pre-adolescent boys when I was a kid. I haven't had to deal with name calling in years. No, for the last 15 years the abuse has been internal. I hated myself. Looking in the mirror was difficult. I've married into a family full of thin women- I am by far the heaviest one at our gatherings. I've been the biggest in the bridal party for several weddings. It's both motivating and discouraging. I want to be one of the thin, fit ones. I will continue to work to get there. But for every pound I lose, there are still 20 more to go. Clothes shopping is a terrible chore. Nothing fits, and if it does, it almost never looks good. Almost every time I leave the store on the verge of tears. If, miraculously, I leave the store with something I'm happy with I will definitely change my mind once I get home and see what it "really" looks like. Also, am I the only one that looks in the mirror before I leave the house thinking I look pretty decent only to see photos later that prove I looked like a fat mess?! This is a cruel, cruel phenomenon.

I originally wanted to make a "word cloud" of all the derogatory names for fat people for the top of this post (unfortunately, I couldn't get the site to load) so I took to google to add to my arsenal. I found an old blog post called "Should we be mean to fat people? You bet." In it the author argues that negative reinforcement can only help. He equates the taunting of obese people to the anti-smoking campaigns that have become so popular in the past few years.
There are good arguments for being mean to fat people. Like smoking and riding a motorcycle without a helmet, obesity is a choice that drives up health costs for all of us. And there’s an even better argument: Because it works. In 1950, roughly half the population smoked. It’s now fallen below 20%. Why? Because of a panoply of mean-spirited anti-smoking measures, from taxation to advertising to social stigmatization to good old fashioned scolding. Humans are social creatures. We can’t help it. We care what others think. Make something uncool enough and we will stop doing it. Currently 2/3 of adult Americans are overweight and 1/3 are obese. If we are mean to fat people as we are to smokers, could we get that down below 20% as we have smoking?
Maybe I'm naive since I'm not a smoker, but I don't see those anti-smoking campaigns as mean. Blunt- yes, but not mean. I also believe that smoking is more of a choice than obesity. I agree that 99% of the time, obesity is the result of decades of poor choices- the choice to eat fast food instead of whole fruits and vegetables, to sleep in instead of exercising, to watch TV with a bowl of buttered popcorn instead of jogging to the local farmer's market for some fresh grapes. I disagree with the author's assumption that people are happy being fat and need a reality check. As if informing someone that they are obese and it isn't healthy will be shocking. They will say "You know- it never occurred to me to try and change. By golly- you're a genius!" And the "meanie" will be credited with changing someone's life since, after all, he was doing it out of love. Because, apparently, fat people need to be ridiculed for the benefit of all.

No, most of the people I know who are overweight aren't happy about it. They aren't sitting down at night planning how to get in the most calories and the least exercise the next day. They aren't walking into the plus size department in glee at all the fabulous frocks they get to wear! Nope, they are more likely standing in front of a mirror crying because nothing fits right and they aren't quite sure when it happened. Most of them are trying to do something about it. How does he know the person he's nagging about being overweight hasn't already lost 50lbs and is working on the rest?

I don't think negative reinforcement is the way to go.

I think this comment on the post says it better than I could:

BeaAugust 25, 2011 at 4:30 am :
You pick on overweight people because they are an easy target, and most people NEED to pick on someone. Makes them feel superior and satisfies some inner need to dominate someone. Overweight people are already ashamed, even if they are part of some small percent that have trouble being thin. Your society has already shamed them. They know you think they are lower than drug addicts, robbers, and some killers. In fact, you’d rather be seen hanging out with a notorious killer than with somebody fat, wouldn’t you? Overweight people probably won’t fight back. Most of them are mild, polite, empathetic, always worrying about hurting someone else because they’ve been hurt so much they know what it feels like. I don’t care where you got your statistics about what percent of people cannot help being fatter than the rest. Doctors are frequently wrong about many things. Some thin people barely eat, and are really fat people in disguise. Other thin people eat like horses and never gain an ounce. I know some of those. One in particular always criticizes people who are even slightly plump, without being grateful for her own rapid metabolism from birth.
You don’t need to start being mean to fat people. It’s not a new idea. Instead, when you see a fat person out and about, you should stop and be extra kind to them, because their coming out of the house today, into a cruel society, probably took more courage and guts than you expend in several years. Instead of hatefulness, try kindness and support. They already know they are overweight and that you find them abhorrent. Perhaps, though, they are too polite to tell you just how repugnant they find your ugly spirit.
To Bea- I love you. :-)

I'm certain the person who was calling me out this weekend wasn't doing it out of love. She knew exactly what to say to hurt me and said it over and over. After being upset about it for a little while I realized something important: being fat does not make me bad. As much as she would like to believe it and as often as I tell myself how horrible and gross I am- it doesn't make it true. If being overweight is the only thing I have to apologize for- than I would say I'm a good person. I'm smart, caring, nice and loving. I would never launch a personal attack on something because I disagree with something they say. I will do anything for my friends and family. I don't aim to hurt people, if I do it's entirely accidental and I will apologize and feel guilt.
I will lose this weight and she will have nothing to say that can hurt me.

Thanks for reading!

PS- I have decided to moderate all comments since I don't know who reads this blog and I don't want anyone posting inflammatory statements.

PPS- I decided to link this post for Project 10 this week. Please visit Stephanie's Mommy Brain for more information on Project 10!

Friday, July 27, 2012

Project 10- Popsicles: The Ultimate Summer Treat

You can read about Project 10 HERE.

I went to a Tupperware party last Friday night and, although I am broke and promised myself I wouldn't spend more than I had to in order to be polite, I spent $60. Apparently, I do this EVERY time I go to a Tupperware party. The "Leader" asked us to name our favorite piece of Tupperware that we own. As I flipped through the catalog I realized that I own many, many pieces! Anyway, I'd like to think that the money is going towards my health goals since I have the best intentions for both (yes, only 2 items for $60 ::faint:: Was Tupperware always INSANELY expensive?!).

The first is simple- a pitcher to use for cold lemon-water. I already have a Brita pitcher but I honestly prefer water straight from the faucet. Plus, I'm not sure you can put lemon slices into the Brita? My mom had one of these when I was a kid and it lasted forever so, that kinda justifies the $32.50- right? 
I'm super excited about my other purchase and I can't wait until it comes in. These really cool Popsicle sticks! The Lollitups: 



I've been scouring the internet for some great low cal/point popsicle recipes. Here are a few that I plan to try ASAP.

Do you have a great popsicle recipe to share?

Thanks for reading!

(Be sure to check out Project 10's Fearless Leader: Stephanie's Mommy Brain)

Wednesday, July 25, 2012

Weigh in Wednesday

Shocking result: I am down 0.8lbs! I can't believe it. It's not much- but it's not a gain! Yay!!!!

Tuesday, July 24, 2012

Pinspiration for Weight Loss

I spent a few hours last night trying to re-organize my Pinterest boards and decided to post some of my favorite weight loss/fitness/health related pins. If you aren't yet a member of Pinterest (do you live under a rock?!?!) you HAVE to join! You can start out by following me!

Follow Me on Pinterest

(Note: If you are trying to lose weight- do not follow any of my food boards except Weight Watchers Friendly! I should probably get rid of them and stop torturing myself.)

Anyway, here are a few pins I like best. I think I may even print some out and put them on my fridge and on the wall in front of my desk at work. I'll try anything to keep the momentum (or, in my case right now- start the ball rolling, again.)

Totally doing this:

Totally me, this is the one I need to hang up everywhere:


All original sources can be found by clicking the pictures on my Thinspiration Pinterest board.

Do you have any inspirational pictures or sayings that you refer to for a pick-me-up? Please share :-)

Thanks for reading!

Wednesday is the New Monday

I think my children sucked up all of my will-power and self control in utero. I just cannot get it through my fat head (and fat thighs, fat ass, fat arms, etc, etc, etc.) that I need to STICK TO THE PLAN!!!! I've pretty much been "off" since Hannah's Christening. First it was Birthday celebrations and leftover junk, then it was a Tupperware party, my nephew's birthday party, a last Hurrah on Sunday, and then I decided to use my free meal coupon at Houlihan's for dinner last night. There's been ice cream cake, a McDonald's Frappe, french fries, cookies, chips and frosting (as in- eating left over frosting out of the canister). It's gross- I know it is, but I can't stop!

I finally went to the market this morning and bought some cherries, cold cuts, wasa crackers, red peppers and hummus. So far I've been on my best behavior today. As for the soda thing- it hasn't been going well. I just stopped on the way home from work for a large soda and I'm drinking it, guiltily, as I write this post. Something's gotta give and I know my weigh in tomorrow is going to be a harsh reality check. Tomorrow will be my "Monday." (As in "Diet Starts Monday!")

At my nephew's party the other day, my Aunt In Law told me that I look great, that it's obvious I've lost weight. It felt good to hear, but at the same time there was a voice in the back of my head telling me "She's lying!" How can she possibly say that I look better when I've been reverting back to my (not-so-) old habits for the past week?

Friday, July 20, 2012

Starting Monday...

I'm already losing momentum. Last week was horrible (as proven by my gain this week) and this week isn't shaping up to be much better. I have a serious case of the insatiable munchies every night and, having no food in the house, I'm making poor choices to deal with it. For the past 2 days in a row I've been good all day only to binge on crap at night. I really need to get some healthy snacks in the house again. 

One of my friends posted one of those funny cards on Facebook the other day and it made me chuckle because of how true it's been for me in the past:

In the past (and, if I'm being honest, still- to some extent) one false move would lead to an entire day or week of just eating whatever I want. I figured I'd get it out of my system and then start fresh the next week. Monday is always time to start anew after the weekend gorging. Unfortunately, this would happen every week. I'd be on my best behavior Mondays and Tuesdays- then Wednesday would hit and it would be all downhill Even on weight watchers, I have yet to meet someone who chooses to weigh in on a Sunday or Monday. The thought process goes something like, "If I weigh in on Fridays I have the entire week to make up for it and I can still see a loss!"  There is some truth to that- but imagine what the loss could be like if there wasn't a huge fat fest on the weekends. If every day was a weekday and there wasn't so much temptation around I'd probably be halfway to goal right now.  

I really need to buckle down and start focusing on my goal. There is no reason I can't have a loss every week. I also want to start working on my "mini goals," the first one being to stop drinking so much soda. So, this coming week I'm going to only allow myself one or two sodas a day, one in the morning and maybe another after I've had at least 8 glasses of water- starting Monday, of course ::wink, wink:: ;-)

I plan on going to buy some healthy snacks this weekend. Please share your favorite low point/calorie thing to munch on while relaxing at night!

Thank you to Stephanie for hosting Project 10 and thanks for reading! 

Wednesday, July 18, 2012

Weigh in Wednesday

Up 1.6. I expected it and I accept it and I deserve it.

I would like to do better this week- but I'm off to a bad start. I'm having one of those days where I just want to eat- but I have nothing healthy in the house and I'm waiting until next week to go food shopping. I may have to go pick up some healthy snacks tomorrow. The leftovers from Hannah's Christening aren't cutting it- I can't keep eating chocolate covered oreos.

Tomorrow is another day- and I vow to stay on point (pun intended ;-) )

Tuesday, July 17, 2012

The Reason for my Sporadic Posting

I know I haven't kept up with my posts very well in the past week or 2. I just wanted to share the totally adorable reason:

My Beautiful Hannah

My husband hated the bonnet- I think it's the cutest!

A decent family shot since there's only 1 chin on me. Woot! Woot!
(Nevermind that Brooke isn't smiling. . .)

I can't remember if I was blowing raspberries on her cheek or kissing her, my cheeks look super puffed.

God Bless Hannah! (This is the only picture of the actual baptism where I don't have multiple chins)

My little monkey- Brooke with her Nana (my mom)
That's chocolate and dirt on her face- lol

The girls playing together this morning in Hannah's new toy

We had about 40 people over after the ceremony Sunday so I was busy all week prepping. I fully expect tomorrow's weigh in to be a disaster after that celebration! Plus, my birthday was yesterday and, although I didn't over-eat all day, I did make VERY poor choices. I had a candy bar for lunch, my mom made chili for dinner and there were Mudslides, cookies and an ice cream cake for dessert. 

So, definitely expecting a gain tomorrow. 

We shall see!

Thanks for reading!

Monday, July 16, 2012

Monday Review-

Sorry for the delay! We Christened my daughter yesterday, so I was wrapped up in party planning, shopping, cleaning and cooking last week. I missed Project 10- so I will double link this week for that (including the promised "Get back on track" post).

Today I'm going to review a new (well, new to me anyway) product for you all!

I apologize for the crappy cell phone picture

From the makers of the popular White Cheddar Popcorn comes Smartfood Selects Sesame Garlic Hummus Popped Chips. They are a crunchy, flavorful and satisfying snack that will appease any salt craving. The 3 point plus,16 chip serving is perfect to eat alongside a sandwich or salad for lunch or alone as a snack. No dip is needed since the flavor is "popped" right in! My sister actually picked these up at Costco and brought them to me to try. They remind me of Special K cracker chips- but much crunchier. I actually liked them better than the Special K chips. I can't wait to try another flavor- but I have yet to see them in a store near me (besides Costco which only carries Sesame Garlic ones). I think this must be a new flavor since it isn't listed on the Smartfood website. If anyone sees these in a store on Long Island- let me know!

Thanks for reading!

Wednesday, July 11, 2012

Weigh in Wednesday

Epic Fail for this week- I'm up 0.8lbs.

I guess it was to be expected after all the holiday festivities. When I stepped on the scale after all my celebrating on July 4th- I had already gained back all the weight I lost last the week before. I was good for the weekdays (other than Wednesday) but, I went off track again on the weekends. My biggest problem is not tracking on weekends. We do so much "spur of the moment" eating (at parties, restaurants, barbecues, etc.) that I just let it go. It's definitely something I need to work on.

I won't lie, when I stepped on the scale this morning this is what I heard in my head:

Next week I'm hoping to hear some sort of victory noise! Fingers crossed...

I'll be back tomorrow with my Project 10 post. This week I'm going to talk about getting back on track after a slip up.

Thanks for reading!

Friday, July 6, 2012

Monday's Review--On Friday (Oops...)

If you read my post from Monday, you probably figured out that I had a rough night. I never got around to writing my review, and I'm SO sorry because it is a GOOD one!

As soon as I saw this recipe on Joy the Baker's blog, I knew I had to try it. I made it last Friday evening to bring to a concert at the beach. It as A-Maze-Ing!! It works out to 5 points plus for a 1 cup serving. I think I'm going to quadruple the recipe and serve it as a side at my daughter's Christening celebration later this month.

I strongly urge you to try it ASAP!

BLT Corn Salad Wraps

(Slightly adapted from Joy the Baker)

3 ears of fresh corn, shucked and cleaned
1 cup cherry tomatoes, sliced in half
4 or 5 chopped green onions
1 avocado, diced
3 sliced crisp cooked bacon, diced
juice of 1 lime
about 1 tablespoon olive oil
salt and pepper to taste
about a teaspoon each of chili powder and smoked paprika
1 small jalapeno, finely chopped (seeds removed if you don't like some heat!)
butter lettuce leaves
Either fire up the grill or turn your gas stove burners on high. Place the corn directly on the grill or burners and char- I used the stove and turned the ears every few minutes. 
Once the corn is charred on all sides, cut the kernels off the cob into a medium-large bowl. 
Crumble the well-done bacon into the bowl and add the tomatoes, green onions, avocado and jalapeno. Squeeze the lime juice over everything and add seasonings. Drizzle olive oil and stir to combine everything together.
Separate lettuce leaves, clean and dry each one. Scoop a few tablespoons of salad into each leaf and fold it up. Enjoy!
When I make this for the Christening I'm going to serve some chips alongside so people can use it as a corn salsa too! 
I give this recipe 5 stars!!!! Yummmmmmmy!

Thanks for reading!

Project 10: Rewarding Yourself

I've decided to dedicate this week's Project 10 post to rewards. In the past (the VERY recent past) I frequently used food as a reward for a job well done. I did it this week as a matter of fact. After posting about my 3lb weight loss- I "rewarded" myself by eating whatever I wanted at the July 4th BBQ we went to- which was thrown by a friend who is an AMAZING caterer. I didn't stuff myself- but I did sample a little bit of everything (including the desserts) AND had 2 beers. I shouldn't have been shocked to see those 3lbs added back on when I stepped on the scale the next morning.

I think many people have a food=reward mindset, most likely carried over from childhood. I remember going to Friendly's to celebrate after a chorus concert or dance recital, getting an ice cream sundae for a good report card, going out to dinner after good news at a parent teacher conference. I was a great student- maybe that's why I was so chubby as a kid!

I need to work on my perception of food. Food isn't necessary to have a good time, it is necessary to live. Filling my body with junk is only going to reduce my lifespan thus reducing the time I have to enjoy! I have to think of other ways to reward myself. I've started a wishlist on Amazon so I can choose things as I reach my weight loss and healthy living goals.

How do you reward yourself for a job well done?

Thanks for reading!

(Head over to Stephanie's Mommy Brain to read all about Project 10 and visit the other bloggers who are involved!)

Wednesday, July 4, 2012

Wednesday Weigh In

I expected horrible results to go along with the party filled week I had. I was WRONG!!! I can't tell you how excited I was to step on the scale this morning (with gritted teeth) and see a 3 pound loss! Yes-- three! That brought me down to my first 5% goal and a total of 11.4 lbs lost! I rewarded myself with 2 bites of the ice cream cake left over from my nephew's birthday last night. I knew I was wighing in today so I avoided it while everyone else dug in. I'm off to yet another BBQ to celebrate Independence Day! Happy 4th of July and God Bless our armed forces!

Thanks forcreading!

Monday, July 2, 2012


I am writing this post to avoid going on a binge. My husband is being a pain in the rear, my toddler is showing me the definition of "terrible 2's", the dog just knocked over my 6 month old, dishes are piled in the sink, dinner still needs to be made and I just want to eat. I need to find a way to deal when all I want to do is bury my head under the covers until everyone is happy OR eat 3000 calories worth of junk.

I already gave in a bit and had a skinny cow ice cream and now I want something salty. The dishes are calling my name- hopefully that's enough of a distraction 'til dinner's on the table.

How do you all cope with stress eating when you can't just escape?