Tuesday, May 29, 2012

This is it...

Today is the Official Day 1 of my journey. I know I blogged about starting last week- but I was really waiting til after the weekend o' many barbecues to pass by. I certainly indulged this weekend- I won't even talk about it. It wasn't pretty (and yet- it wasn't terrible either- it contained no deep fried foods or fast food!) but it's out of my system and I'm ready to begin. My goal is to lose 25-30 lbs by September when we go to my parents' lake house. Unfortunately, I'll have to wear a bathing suit before that. I'm on the hunt for something that won't look too bad. I've gotten a bunch of recommendations for Land's End suits. Here are my choices from the website:

Unfortunately, there's no such thing as a suit that hides the hips, butt and thighs (except for those skirted suits or dress suits- but, to be honest, I feel like those just call attentions to the fact that I'm heavy. Like, I may as well scream "Look at me! I can't wear a cute bathing suit so instead I just buy the one with the most fabric!").

The ones I posted above are pretty expensive- around $120 per suit. I suppose that's the going rate- but since my last bathing suits came from Old Navy and Marshalls- $120 is ALOT! 

I'll let you know what I end up with!

Thanks for reading!

Day 1 weigh in- 226 lbs 


Tuesday, May 22, 2012

The Good, the Bad and the Ugly- Weekend Review

I meant to post this yesterday- but things were crazy all day and once I settled in for the night, I didn't want to deal with posting from the iPad. So, better late than never, right?!

The Good:

Due to the GORGEOUS weather we had this weekend on Long Island, I was able to spend most of the day outdoors. I took the kids for a long walk Friday evening and played in the park. Saturday we went to 3 more parks (we sure love parks!) and Sunday we went for a walk with the dog and flew a kite. It was a great weekend.

The Bad:

Due to our lack of food in the house, most of our meals were eaten out.

The Ugly:

Friday was McDonald's, Saturday was Outback and Sunday was Subway and leftovers from Outback.

I have to say that my choices for WHERE to eat weren't the best (except for Subway), but WHAT I chose to eat was even worse. McDonald's wasn't too bad. Small fries (I can easily finish off a large and still pick on my daughter's leftovers) and a chicken sandwich- hold the mayo- off the dollar menu. Outback was a disaster. I had barely eaten a thing all day, we had to wait after being told we could be seated right away and the kids were taking turns screaming (they are usually very well behaved, I swear!). We were given free appetizers and I had no trouble diving into a bloomin onion and wings. Then I ordered a salad. Probably the worst thing on the menu- with fried chicken, eggs, bacon, cheese and honey mustard dressing. Ugh- my stomach hated me that night.

Sunday's lunch at Subway wasn't too bad. Subway is my new go-to place for a fast healthy-ish lunch. A 6" ham on wheat with mustard, lettuce, tomato, jalapenos and banana peppers comes in at 7points+. Add a bag of Lays for a 10 point + lunch.

Now that I finally have some cash in the bank- I'm going food shopping for some healthy staples and ingredients so I can make meals at home. I'll be checking in with some recipes this week!

Thanks for reading!

Friday, May 18, 2012

Visualize It

My current weight is 226 lbs (ack!) as of now my goal is 160 lbs. As I get closer to that goal, I may decide to go lower, but I think 160 is my happy place. I belong to a Weight Watchers support group on Facebook and someone there posted a link to help visualize where you want to be. Check out my before and after pics from the My Virtual Model Weightloss Simulator

Now- 5'6" 226 lbs:

Goal- 5'6" 160 lbs:

I'm hoping to compare actual pictures once I make it to goal!

Gathering Logs for my Fire

Welcome! My name is Keri. I'm a 30 year old wife and mom from Long Island. I have 2 beautiful daughters- a 2 year old and a 6 month old and a great husband. I am also fat. Not just a few pounds overweight- fat. I've always struggled with my weight. I was the chubby kid in elementary school who had to shop in the "pretty plus" section (the girl's version of "husky"). I thinned out a bit once I got to middle/high school. I joined the swim team for a year then switched over to tennis. I played on the varsity team through high school and also attended dance class. I was so busy- I never really had the time to eat junk food. My weight went up once I started college, got into a serious relationship and became less active. I commuted to school and lived at home. It was all too easy to grab food on the go from the closest fast food joint. I was also waitressing and eating late at night once my shifts ended. My boyfriend and I would order in pizza and get ice cream from the 24hr Baskin Robbins. I'm not really sure how heavy I got at that point- I would guess in the 190's.

I had just started the Atkins diet when the boyfriend and I broke up. Being single gave me the motivation I needed to stick to the diet. I didn't really follow the traditional program. I didn't live on fatty steaks and bacon. I mostly ate salads, grilled chicken, broccoli and almonds. I dropped around 60lbs within 6-8 months. I was skinny. I loved it. I was going out dancing with my friends several nights a week, roller blading for miles and most of my calories came from vodka and club sodas at the bars. I was getting plenty of attention and having a blast. After a few months I started dating someone new and kept the weight off through our 6 months together.
After that boyfriend dropped me- I began seeing the ex-boyfriend again. He had also lost a ton of weight. Unfortunately, through the next few years, we slowly gained back all of the weight we had lost. We were back to a lifestyle that involved staying in watching movies, eating pizza and going out to dinner.

From then on my weight yo-yo'd- but I've never been "skinny" again. The boyfriend and I are now married (5 years this September- woot woot!), own a house and have our 2 girls. Pregnancy has allowed me to  pile on the pounds more than ever before and I'm ready to do something about it. I'm at my all time heaviest and I hate it.

I hate being fat, but I love food. I love to eat. I like being active- but being heavy has hindered that aspect of my life. My feet and ankles hurt all the time. I have zero endurance. I have dreams of being a runner. Crossing finish lines with a happy, proud-of-myself glow. I would love to play tennis again, and to teach my daughters to play. I want to be a good role-model. Right now my 2 year old's eating habits are as bad as mine are. That needs to change. If I can't find the will power to do this for myself- I will do it for my kids.

I don't have the money to join an expensive gym or hire a trainer. I can't afford a structured weight loss program at the moment. However- I know the guidelines for a very popular program from having once been a member. I also have the calculator from that program ;-) and there are plenty of recipes to be found out in blog land. This is going to be my method, but I'm going to do it alone without attending meetings or joining the online program.

I've been doing lots of hunting for recipes and weight loss tips over the years. I've never found anyone who I can identify with. No one who has had a lot of weight to lose, who talks about how difficult it is to start, who recognizes that there are ups and downs. I recently came across Jennifer's blog: It Sux to Be Fat. For some reason what she had to say resonated. I can relate to her in so many ways. She is inspiring.

One of her recent blog posts sparked me to start this blog. In it, she speaks about the weight loss journey as a fire.

"For those of you that know anything about fires, you know that you have to have some good coals in order for your fire to continue burning. Not only do you have to have good coals but you also have to continually add wood and stoke it in order to KEEP the fire from going out."
After reading, I began to think about what I need to do to start my fire.For starters- I need a spark. I suppose my spark is the recent pictures of myself I find repulsive. My kindling is the clothes I no longer fit into. The logs- perhaps the most important part of the fire- are what I need to continue gathering. I have one already- my children. They will be my main source of will power and motivation. I'm sure I'll pick up some more "logs" along the way. For now though, I hope this will be enough to get me started.

Thanks for reading.